Obligatory New Year's List Post

My Goals for 2009:

1. Get a job
2. Get a job
3. Get a job

Any questions?

I'm Dreaming of a Quiet Christmas

I know it's cliche, but the holidays bum me out. Seriously. Like full on, want to hide in the closet until mid-January so I don't have to talk to anyone, blues. I think working retail for so long is the main source of my angst. If you've never worked retail, the holiday season is like running a gauntlet. By the time X-mas rolls around, you NEVER EVER want to hear another Christmas song again. And the fun part is, you pretty much start planning for the next season before the tinsel comes down. It's like Santa's workshop only without the cheer and fewer short people.

Of course, lately everything has sent me spiraling to tears. It just seems like the holidays take everything, whether good or bad, and multiply it by ten (million). I've felt like burrowing into my hidey hole for several months now (and been pretty darn good at it, if I do say so myself). I don't talk to my friends, I avoid my family, I don't answer the phone. At least I shower (most days).

This year, though, it just doesn't feel at all like Christmas. I've still got the funk, but I don't have even the slightest feeling that Christmas Eve is just 12 days away. My hunny and I went and did our gift shopping this morning - don't even think about asking what we spent - but it still doesn't feel real.

Maybe I need to get a reindeer. I'm sure the cats would like it. Who knows. At least I got out of the house for a while.

Stuck Between a Rock and a Fat Place

On a good day, I eat a half a can of asparagus with dinner. Sad, isn't it?

This is going to be a journal of my path to a better me. Sometimes it'll be about the steps I'm taking to better health. Sometimes it'll be about my weight. Hopefully, it won't be too depressing for anyone (especially me!) I'm J. I'm closer to 30 than I'd like. I'm (currently) unemployed. And I'm fat.

Welcome to my world.